Archive | Smelly Stuff RSS feed for this section

FRIZZ HALOS

10 Apr

Thank you for your suggestions to the Preview! Guess the Upcoming Post. As you guessed, this post is inspired by The Tropics and will be about our crowning glory. So get in the mood, listen to some Tropicália music or these Songza playlists!

New York feels like a sticky concrete tropical cloud forest in the summer and the humidity means that it is impossible to keep hair from flying away  and gathering on top of your head. Now, if we were living in Elizabethan England, our frizz halos would be IN. But today, frizz (like acne and cellulite) is an undesirable look. But outta these three “bad” traits, frizz has the most potential to become cool, right?! There are, like, poems dedicated to it!

Marilyn and her sorta frizz halo in Florida on the “Some Like it Hot” (1959) set

Till the day comes where we embrace our frizz halos, here are two products to glue down the fluff and keep your knickers from getting in a twist when precipitation gets above 0%.

Screen shot of the No Frizz line from Living Proof

Screen shot of the No Frizz line from Living Proof

LIVING PROOF is the Hedy Lamarr of hair products: brainy and (makes you) beautiful. Its nerdy origin story is that it was co-created by biotech scientists at MIT and beauty experts.

Living Proof frizz line is so resistant to humidity you could probably do a synchronized swim routine during a monsoon and not see a hair budge. That may be a stretch, but in all seriousness, the no-frizz Living Proof line will hold your hair down. If that doesn’t sound convincing enough, the Priestess of Hair Janiston herself endorses it.

Although Living Proof smells nice in its own right, EO PURE PERFORMANCE BOTANICAL HAIR CARE in COCONUT & HIBISCUS  hair scrubber and conditioner jazz up the “tropical scent genre” from the more traditional (and expected) formula of coconut and lime.

Duhlicious

The Coconut & Hibiscus scrubber and conditioner  are great for the more “wrecked out by the blow out” manes, but virgin hair will benefit too from its smoothing, softening, rehydrating, fortifying, and conditioning properties that smell like heaven and make your hair light as a featha. Also, EO Everyday Hair Care lines are natural, therapeutic, non-sulfate, botanical, and stuffed with keratin… essentially, very wholesome.

Montane tropical rain forest in northern Vietnam

In conclusion, both EO and Living Proof products are truly fabulous products that do wonders for the health and look of your hair. Living Proof frizz may be better at keeping the hair clouds at bay during a tropical rain storm (or a New York summer), but the EO Coconut & Hibiscus offers a twist on the olfactory sensation we associate with the ‘the tropics’ (like the traditional tropical scent found in Sally Hershberger’s Wavy Spray and the DIY beach hair spray mentioned in an earlier post).

There are a ton of other dynamo products out there that either feel tropically or can kill frizz in literal rainy tropical climates. What do you like and recommend?

***

P.S.:

Since we can’t write about the tropics without mentioning ways to protect it, here are some websites to help boost our ecosystems and save our furry and feathery friends:

http://worldwildlife.org/

http://www.sierraclubfoundation.org/

http://www.nature.org/

http://www.greenpeacefund.org/

Advertisements
Video

Marinating in the Shower

26 Jul

What’s one of the oldest beauty rituals in the world? Baths!

What’s a surefire way to feel like royalty? Baths!

What’s one of the most common household feature that often gets excluded from urban apartments? Bathtubs…

Hmm. We’ve got a quandary.

***

Unless you’re Marat, or Colin from The Secret Garden (remember that horrible ice bath scene in the movie?) or the victims of Countess Elizabeth Báthory, you surely like the concept of taking a bath. You can add rose petals and candles! Or you can write scathing reviews à la Waldo Lydecker in Laura.

Who can I make cry today?

There are a number of beautifying baths one can take. Cleopatra, Elizabeth I and Sisi preferred milk baths; the Countess Elizabeth Báthory de Ecsed mentioned earlier famously murdered virgins to bathe in their youthful blood. As we can see, bath time can either be spa time, murder time, or playtime: John F. Kennedy apparently had toys in his bath even as president!

Problem is, most of us broke fi broke plebes in New York and other urban areas don’t have the luxury of having a bathtub in our sardine apartments. But there are products that can recreate the experience of bathing even while showering (which is far more environmentally friendly anyways).

Here are some products to use in the shower to get you dreamin’ about the future when you’re rich and have a mansion with 18 bathtubs:

To soften your skin, use Archipelago milk products and luxuriate as Cleo, Liz and Sisi did. They smell deliciously clean. Both men and women will enjoy using these milky treats to condition their skin, hair and body. An ex beau used the Shaving Cream before razoring his face; women can use the Leg Lather to keep their stems slick and razor burn free. To keep the scent close at hand, carry the Soy Milk Travel-Size Hand Creme in your bag. You’ll be sniffing your mitts all day.

Ever since your bout with chicken pox twenty-something years ago, you may not have sprinkled that Quaker cereal grain into your tub water. But ya should. Those prone to itchy skin must know about this remedy. St. Ives’ oatmeal bath products are well known, but you can also create an oatmeal bath in your shower by making an oatmeal shower bag. Or just buy one from this Etsy store.

Marinate in salt water if you got sore muscles. We all know this: NFL Players, Olympians and average schmoes use Epsom salt. Besides soothing your biceps, salt is also a known beauty ingredient (Dead Sea, for example). For you active rabbits, Kiss My Face Quads: Active Athlete body wash is packed with muscle relaxin’ ingredients: birch and eucalyptus.

So, we’ve got the bath in a shower stuff down pretty well. Here’s hoping Archipelago will come out with a blood line soon (NOT)!

As always, holler about your favorite shower stuff.

________________________________________________________________

Waldo Lydecker photo source

P.S: This is a delightfully funny read on the Blood Bath Queen

Video

POSH : Port Out Starboard Home

28 May

It’s cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey in New York. While the weather’s having another tizzy fit, spark up a Malin + Goetze cannabis candle and peruse these beachy-keen things to get your mind off the rain.

what’s your summer song?

Smack, smooch, eat a popsicle and swallow uh… sea water with Becca Beach Tint for Lips and Cheeks. You know what? It’s that good it’s getting a photo for all you visual learners: Image The name says it all– this stuff is designed for the beach! It’s waterproof, blendable, buildable, and gives you a beautiful even color. No worries about swallowing stuck on hair strands either — Becca’s not goopy or sticky. It just seeps into your lips in a very, very low-key and pretty way. Add more layers for pizzazz and you’re good to go. I’m partial to berry shades but pick ya fave.

Since this post is beach themed, and although the sun is sleeping this May, sunscreen is the happiest and sexiest scent on earth. Just as happy and sexy as this tumblr: surfer-boys.

Go get yourself a boozy ice pop and let’s take a moment on that site before continuing

….

….

….

Okay then, so slap on the euphoria even through this rainy season. It’ll lift your spirits. Promise. Current cheap fave is generic Duane Reade SPF 50 which smells exactly like sunscreen should and is easy to buy for you broke fi broke out there. Remember your ears, neck, and hands when schmearing. And since you’re being sooo good and spraying on the sun, further fox that faux tan with Physicians’ Formula Powder Palette Mineral Glow Pearls. If you have been chrysalis-izing till now, however, MAC Bronzing Powder will get you colorful. It’s matte, without shimmer and flash, so it really gives you a believable sun-kissed look.

I’m readdyyy! Sunshine here we come!

Spritz your mane with Miracle It’s A 10 Leave In to hydrate those salt-chlorine-sun scorched hairs. Those with finer hair should use their paws to distribute the product and not spritz their head directly because it is super conditioning and too much will make finer-haired folks look greasy. Curly and voluptuously maned pals like the dude below can splash directly.

definitely can handle the 10

 

Yes, yes, Princess Carolyn Bessette Kennedy famously wore this.

Unless you like being a mosquito’s milkshake, skip perfume in the summer. Having said that, Kareem Abdul’s Egyptian Musk is the ideal and perfect hint-o’-scent for the summer/year round/life. It too will get a photo cause it’s just that awesome.

Alright, alright, hear me out: This ain’t your grandma’s musk. It won’t retrieve repressed memories of being force-fed jelly candy and being told to sit straight. You’ll not pass out from this NOT overpowering scent. The Amazon description hits the nail on the mark (clickedy clack on the oil’s link above to read it). You will not smell like you’re wearing perfume. It’s subtle and just illuminates you in a stunning, truly personal way. It’s hard to describe! Guys and girls who hate “perfume” will love this.

Alright, as always, lemme know what you do to get ready for summer. For my New York friends, keep your spirit throughout this rain.


P.S.:

Like the monkey balls comment, the title refers to another nautical term. Those seamen are the best wordsmiths! 

Keepin It 100…

21 May

… Even when you haven’t showered. Yeah, yeah, I know I know… it’s summmerr and the subway is hot.

If you ever find yourself in such a situation, quit fretting and let those pheromones fly confidently with a bit of help from the following.

 

STICK O’ SCENT: UNDERARM PERFUME

You don’t need to keep your arms pinned to your side if you have Old Spice Deodorant: The Classic Formula  and/or (your pick) Speed Stick Regular.

Old Spice Classic Deodorant Stick, Original 3.25 oz [012044389706]

Now this is the deo version — not the antiperspirent and deodorant combo mix — thus it has that refreshing Old Spice  (or Speed Stick) scent without the cakey deodorant smell of the sports-centered varieties. Essentially, it’s a freshener for your underarms and will trick even you into thinking that you actually are a responsible grown up who practices good hygiene.

 

GREASE MOPPERS: DRY SHAMPOOS

FACT: Dry shampoo is the most brilliant invention since penicillin. It too is a life saver.

All jokes aside, dry shampoo is incredibly handy. My co-worker Lizzy and I have gone through a lot of different brands and have come up with the two best so far: Oscar Blandi Pronto Dry Shampoo (loose powder that you put in your hand) and the drugstore Rolls-Royce Pssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst Dry Shampoo. When using the spritz Pssst, just remember to shake shake shake senora before using.

This whiskerando probably would have benefited from these waterless potions

The ideal dry shampoo mops, fluffs, and does not leave any dust if used with a hairbrush. It should just zest up your ‘do. With Oscar and Pssssssssst, you have no reason to have fear of your head doubling as a chalkboard.  Brush thoroughly just to make sure you get the stuff fully nuzzled on top of your skull. Otherwise you’ll end up looking like Marie Antoinette pre-Revolution.

Finally we come to

SWAMP FACE SCRUBBERS: FACIAL WIPEY THINGS

Summer gives you a serious case of “Swamp Face”: sweaty, runny, and sticky. Swamp Face + Not Showering = Miserableness. Keep facial wipes in every single bag you own.

Every person has his /her  favorite wipe and my currents are Yes to Carrots Cucumber Facial Towlettes and Neutrogena Hydrating towels. Scrubs away the sins of last night that lead you to not showering this morning in the first place.

SWAMP FACE MISTERS

My friend Allison brought it up that a great thing to keep in mind for the summer is a spritzy mist. There are a whole lot out there. From Evian to Caudalie, most can get pricey. Remember the rose spritz mentioned earlier here? That works very well and also restores the pH balance in your face. You can of course just get a plastic spritz bottle from the drugstore and fill with water, but I’d recommend adding some witch hazel to that mix to swagg it up inexpensively. Witch hazel is pretty cheap and everyone should have it in their cabinets. I like all witch hazels, but there is something about Thayers Witch Hazel with Aloe Vera Rose Petals that looks so perfect not only on the face but also on the counter. It’s all about the aesthetics people.

So, what are your tricks? I really need to have a couple more in my bag!

_____________________________

Edgar Degas’ “Woman Seated in an Armchair Wiping Her Left Armpit” (c. 1895)

Beard dude photo credit

Henri Matisse’s “Portrait of Madame Matisse” (1905)

The Humble Sex Queen Vanilla Bean

14 May

You want to get all lusted after? Wear vanilla. Or maybe just wear bacon lube.

The current favorites:

Boyfriend by the faux OB/GYN herself, Ms. Addison Walker.

Boyfriend - Boyfriend

Oh man. This will make you want to take a bite out of your wrists. If you’re into cannibalism, just spritz spritz this all over and lay down naked on a bed of muffin tins.

Hanae Mori’s Butterfly

Go forth you flutterbys with Hanae Mori’s delicious perfume. This is a warmer, stronger scent than “Boyfriend” but is absolutely fetching.

This is for your more “mature” dates, the one’s where you get all gussied up and break out the heels and go somewhere super shmancy for dinner– the kinda place where you probably couldn’t get into least alone want to go to on your own. You know what I’m talking about.

What are your favorite vanilla based spritzes? Lemme know!

___________________

Mata Hair photo credit

NOT A DINER BATHROOM: Rose

20 Mar

I think rose scented things are simply divine. Wait, no, let me rephrase that: GOOD rose smelling things rock. Bad rose smells like the air refreshers in Greek diner bathrooms or old people houses. I don’t like “dainty” rose smells either…especially those packaged to look like it came from some English something like a garden or the Queen Mum herself. Nah. I like a heavy, full bodied, sexy rose.

This smell in particular:

Anthropologie had the candle in stock for like a nanosecond in 2009. Unless you’re in Thailand, this candle is not the easiest thing to get which blows (ged it?)

That candle really did a number on me because now I can’t pass anything labeled “rose” without sticking my big nose into it and huffing. Although I most likely will never find anything that comes remotely close to that gorgeous candle (my first high), here’s some other nice smelly things:

Heritage Store has a lot of rose stuff. They even sell a gallon of rose water for 86 bucks. Imagine that! But back to the normal people products.

Not only can you use this spritz

Rose Petals Rosewater 4 oz  w/atomizer

as a hair/body/pet/home/whatever refresher (which I do) but you can also use it as a salad spritzer! The label says so! The smell is light but has body. When I haven’t showered I splash this stuff on because it makes me “feel clean” and can pH any bad stench lingering in my hair up up and away. When I do shower, I slather this afterwards:

Rose Aura Glow 8 oz

I use it for everything. As a makeup remover, as a moisturizer, to pat my frizzies down. I just haven’t tried it as an alternative oil base for salad dressings.

Another oil that smells a bit more “mature” (in a good way!) and works just as well is Weleda’s Wild Rose Body Oil.

This Claus Porto soap

is a hefty chunk of delicious, and the packaging is gorgeous. I haven’t gotten my ravaged hands on the candle version yet but I bet it smells just as lovely as the soap.

Speaking about soap and packaging, shout out to Dr. Bronner’s Magic Soap, the Rose Edition.

Rose Liquid Soap - 16 oz.

This is what I actually shower with before I slather on the Aura Glow potion. (You all know about the wacky writing on the label, but this shit can really be used in 18 million different ways. Back when I was a broke college kid and I ran out of detergent, I would use this. The gross dryer smell totally killed it so my undies never smelled fresh as a rose though.)

Moving right along to make up, the only one I can think of at the moment isYSL mascara. I have a feral-like-crazy love to/for these glob sticks. It is da best in the world. It knocks mascara out of the park. Not only does it smell great (like…dare I say…roses?) it also makes your lashes look 1000000000000000x better. Seriously. You’ll get laid wearing this.

And now, the most perfect rose base perfume I have huffed. The one, the only

STELLLAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!

I have found that this stuff works like freaking catnip, for either gender. I was turned on to it after my friend Sammy wore it. Once, this guy I was seeing thought that my Chanel Mademoiselle smelled too much “like Macy’s” and so the next day I tested this spritz to only have him attached to my neck. To test this theory I have held it under unsuspecting guy friends’ noses, moving it around like a witch with her potion. 5/5 of my victims perked up and asked “what is that??? let me sniff it again!” This is good stuff.

So this is just a sample list of some of my favorite rose scented stuff. Holler down below if you know of any others!


 

Note:

Although I may jokingly refer to huffing here, huffing is not a good thing and can be very dangerous to your health!! DUH!!! Not only can you get bumps all along your nose and mouth (TRUE STORY, saw it on Criminal Minds so there) but you can also end up looking like this guy)